a few parisian observations

one:
Though it may not be the best gauge of a given city's cleanliness, on this trip I've developed the "B.C.I." (Booger Color Index) as a method for discerning air quality.
In London, when I blew my nose after a day on the town, the tissues ended up what I liked to romantically call "Dickensian Black." In Paris, it's a bit better and a bit cleaner, so let's call this spot's BCI "New Wave Grey."

two:
I have no idea what they're talking about, but old French men in conversation with one another invariably sound as though they are moderately tardy for a park-based, oversized-piece-employing chess tournament.
When they speak to anyone other than their own kind, they seem as though they are trying to charm/steal your girlfriend at a family holiday dinner.

three:
For being "the city of romance," no one in paris looks like they're having any sex, except for maybe a few of the honeymooning tourist couples. The old ladies look like they hate men, the young ladies look like they distrust men and the men of all ages look either hungry for love or resigned to not finding any.

four:
right now in france, they play the following on their version of MTV (it's not actual MTV - it's called "Tubes" or something): alicia keys, paris hilton (yes, they actually play her music video), alicia keys, this alicia keys-like singer called Melissa M (whose big single is totally the "Umbrella" of France - in a good way), some weird french rapper in straightjacket who thinks it's 2001 and he's in D12, sean kingston, fergie and gwen stefani. the complete and total global-ness of culture is a little annoying when you pay lots of money and spend lots of time to go half-way around the world only to see fergie videos and starbucks everywhere (in a country that invented cafe society! couldn't you have resisted, france? I mean, sure, I understand how you got covered in 400 mcdonalds locations - your defenses to global homogenization were low - all of ours were - back when the golden arches started spreading outside the U.S., and you didn't really have a lock on the whole fast-food thing. But you DID already have a lock on serving coffee on every corner BEFORE Starbucks said, "Bonjour, we come in and destroy your culture now." (Starbucks, as an entity, speaks sort of like a roughneck soviet robot - at least in my head.)

five:
Cumin cheese.

six:
A skylight over your bed is worth a six-floor walkup.
-k